A myth-busting, science-based guide that addresses the timeless question of how to manage your emotional life using tools you already possess.
Whether it’s anxiety about going to the doctor, boiling rage when we’re stuck in traffic, or devastation after a painful break-up, our lives are filled with situations that send us spiraling. But as difficult as our emotions can be, they are also a superpower. Far from being “good” or “bad,” emotions are information. When they’re activated in the right ways and at the right time, they function like an immune system, alerting us to our surroundings, telling us how to react to a situation, and helping us make the right choices.
But how do we make our emotions work for us rather than against us? Acclaimed psychologist Dr. Ethan Kross has devoted his scientific career to answering this question. In Shift, he dispels common myths—for instance, that avoidance is always toxic or that we should always strive to live in the moment—and provides a new framework for shifting our emotions so they don’t take over our lives.
Shift weaves groundbreaking research with riveting stories of people struggling and succeeding to manage their emotions—from a mother whose fear prompted her to make a spur-of-the-moment decision that would save her daughter’s life mid-flight to a nuclear code-carrying Navy SEAL who learned how to embrace both joy and pain during a hellish training activity. Dr. Kross spotlights a wide array of tools that we already have access to—in our bodies and minds, our relationships with other people, and the cultures and physical spaces we inhabit—and shows us how to harness them to be healthier and more successful.
Filled with actionable advice, cutting-edge research, and riveting stories, Shift puts the power back into our hands, so we can control our emotions without them controlling us—and help others do the same.
Ethan Kross
Professor of Psychology and Management & Organizations
University of Michigan
About the talk
Whether it’s anxiety about going to the doctor, boiling rage when we’re stuck in traffic, or devastation after a painful break-up, our lives are filled with situations that send us spiraling. But as difficult as our emotions can be, they are also a superpower. Far from being “good” or “bad,” emotions are information. When they’re activated in the right ways and at the right time, they function like an immune system, alerting us to our surroundings, telling us how to react to a situation, and helping us make the right choices. But how do we make our emotions work for us rather than against us?
Join us for this fireside chat hosted by Monica Worline, where Dr. Ethan Kross, acclaimed psychologist and author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions – So They Don’t Manage You, will provide a new framework for shifting our emotions, so they don’t take over our lives. Through science and storytelling, Kross will spotlight a wide array of tools that we already have access to – in our bodies and minds, our relationships with other people, and the cultures and physical spaces we inhabit – and show us how to harness them to be healthier and more successful. He’ll reveal how you can shift the power back into your hands, so you control your emotions without them controlling you – and help others do the same.
About Kross
Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed about his work on CBS Evening News, Good Morning America, and NPR’sMorning Edition. His pioneering research has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and New England Journal of MedicineandScience.
Host
Monica Worline, Faculty Director, Center for Positive Organizations
Event Co-Sponsors
Established in 2001, the Eisenberg Family Depression Center is the first of its kind devoted entirely to bringing depression into the mainstream of research, care, community education and public discourse. Today, our Center is expanding the scope of mental health research in order to accelerate innovations that lead to improved outcomes across our communities.
The Department of Psychology is consistently ranked as a top department in the nation because of the excellence of our faculty, students, and programs. Our faculty are recognized nationally and internationally for their contributions to the creation of new scientific knowledge in psychology. Our undergraduate and graduate programs are recognized for pioneering contributions in classroom and research education, as well as innovative experiential learning. The department has been recognized for decades as one of the most distinguished and productive departments of psychology in the world.
Jamil Zaki
Professor of Psychology, Stanford University
Author of Hope for Cynics
About the talk
Cynicism is an understandable response to a world full of injustice and inequality. But in many cases, it is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realize how kind, generous, and open-minded others really are. Cynical thinking deepens social problems: when we expect the worst in people, we often bring it out of them. We don’t have to remain stuck in this cynicism trap.
Join Jamil Zaki, author of Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, in a fireside chat with Ethan Kross to learn the secret for beating back cynicism: hopeful skepticism—thinking critically about people and our problems, while simultaneously acknowledging our power. Through science and storytelling, Jamil will share how hopeful skepticism can strengthen relationships, schools, businesses, and social movements. This philosophy isn’t about naïve optimism; it’s about magnifying the good in people while remaining critical. Hopeful skepticism honors humanity’s strengths while confronting our weaknesses head-on.
Reception immediately following with light hors d’ oeuvres and refreshments.
About Zaki
Jamil Zaki is a full professor of psychology at Stanford University. He and his colleagues study social connection, including empathy, cooperation, and trust (see ssnl.stanford.edu for details), and develop tools to help people connect more effectively.
Dr. Zaki received his BA in cognitive neuroscience from Boston University and his PhD in psychology from Columbia University and conducted postdoctoral research at the Harvard Center for Brain Science. He has published over 100 peer-reviewed articles and received about two dozen awards from scientific associations and universities. In 2019 he was awarded the Presidential Early Career Award for Scientists and Engineers (PECASE), the US Government’s highest honor for researchers at his career stage.
In addition to his academic work, Dr. Zaki is active in outreach and public communication of science. He has written about human connection for The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, and The New Yorker. In 2019, he published his first book, The War for Kindness, which NPR called a “wide-ranging, practical guide to making the world better.” His second book, Hope for Cynics, publishes in September 2024. Jamil regularly gives talks and trainings to a range of audiences, including Fortune 500 executives, middle schoolers, healthcare workers, and government officials. His TED and TEDx talks have been viewed over 3,000,000 times.
Geoffrey Cohen
Professor of Psychology and the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business, Stanford University
Author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides
About the talk
We live in enormously polarized times. From politics to race, religion, gender, and class, division runs rampant. In 2020, 40 percent of each political party said that supporters of the opposing party were “downright evil.” In 2019, hate crimes reached a ten-year high in the United States. One in five Americans suffers from chronic loneliness. How did we become so alienated? Why is our sense of belonging so undermined?
Join Geoffrey Cohen, author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides, in a fireside chat with Ethan Kross to learn science-backed techniques for navigating modern social life that can help us overcome our differences, create empathy, and forge lasting connections even across divides. Geoffrey will share useful takeaways for managers and educators of all stripes to create connection – even during challenging times – and improve daily life at work, in school, in our homes, and in our communities. Learn how belonging can help those around you thrive.
Student Watch Party: Watch this streamed session together with other students for an in-person community experience followed by a structured discussion about how to put insights from Positive Links into practice. Registration for the Student Watch Party is included as an option when registering for this session of Positive Links.
About Cohen
Geoffrey L. Cohen is a Professor of Psychology and the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business at Stanford University. He is a social psychologist by training and received his PhD at Stanford and his BA at Cornell.
Professor Cohen’s research examines the processes that shape people’s sense of belonging and self-concept and the role that these processes play in various social problems. He has studied the big and small threats to belonging and self-integrity that people encounter in school, work, healthcare settings, politics, communities, and relationships. He and others have developed concrete, science-backed strategies to create more welcoming spaces for people from all walks of life. He believes that the development of psychological theory depends not just on descriptive and observational research but on theory-driven intervention. He has long been inspired by Kurt Lewin’s quip, “The best way to understand something is to try to change it.”
The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World
Jamil Zaki
Associate Professor of Psychology, Stanford University
Author of The War for Kindness
March 23, 2023
About the talk
Empathy is in short supply. We struggle to understand people who aren’t like us. Studies show that we are less caring than we were even thirty years ago. In 2006, Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an “empathy deficit.” Since then, things seem to have only become worse—but it doesn’t have to be this way.
Join us for a virtual fireside chat with Stanford University Professor Jamil Zaki as he discusses his groundbreaking book, The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World, with host Ethan Kross. You’ll learn about Zaki’s cutting-edge research, including experiments from his lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait—something we’re born with or not—but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort. Zaki will share stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances. And you will learn ways to work on and build your own empathy—the same way you’d strengthen a muscle.
This article highlights the importance and positive impact of self-talk. By recognizing negative self-talk and learning how to tame it, people can find growth, focus, and understanding – which can all help with mental health.
“Helpful inner monologue isn’t always positive in the sense that sometimes, in working through the bad stuff, we learn from our mistakes,” Kross shares. “That sometimes involves revisiting painful experiences, extracting some important insight that helps us move on and improve.”
Ethan Kross is a Professor of Psychology and Management & Organizations at the University of Michigan.
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself, and you’re likely to get written off as eccentric. But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head. When we talk to ourselves, we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead. When we’re facing a tough task, our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus—you can do this. But, just as often, our inner critic sinks us entirely: I’m going to fail. They’ll all laugh at me. What’s the use?
In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies—from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy—Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk—what he calls “chatter”—can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure.
But the good news is that we’re already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor. These tools are often hidden in plain sight—in the words we use to think about ourselves, the technologies we embrace, the diaries we keep in our drawers, the conversations we have with our loved ones, and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces.
Brilliantly argued, expertly researched, and filled with compelling stories, Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves.
Ethan Kross remembers that at a young age, his father taught him to introspect when things went wrong. It became a valuable tool throughout his childhood and adolescence, helping him process challenges and rejection.
It wasn’t until he began studying psychology that he learned about when introspection goes wrong. For many, turning inwards can make things worse, leading to depression and anxiety. Kross became passionate about using science to solve this problem, which Kross coins “chatter.” Ethan has spent the past 13 years at the University of Michigan learning about chatter, which is now the topic of his new book.
As part of the Center for Positive Organizations’ Summer Series, Kross discussed chatter with colleague and friend David Mayer (John H. Mitchell Professor of Business Ethics, Michigan Ross), sharing insights on how chatter works, how to overcome it, and how to lead others to do the same.
According to Kross, chatter refers to the process of getting “stuck” in a negative cycle of thinking and feeling. As a visual, Kross likens it to a hamster on an exercise wheel – the act of trying hard to get somewhere but not making progress.
Although some may feel that introspection is a nuisance they want to shut off, introspection is an important capability for healthy living. According to Kross, the inner voice helps simulate future moments (e.g., preparing what to say in a presentation), shape experiences, and better understand the events that happen.
However, “Chatter zooms us in really narrowly on our own problems…and we lose sense of the bigger picture,” says Kross. Doing so can cause people to feel that they are not in control, negatively impacting our work performance, relationships, and physical health.
Kross’ book presents several evidence-based strategies to help overcome chatter, including temporal reframing (mental time travel), mindfulness, and talking to yourself in the third person. Kross notes that there is no single magic solution and that people who use combinations of tools fare best.
In addition, Kross provides advice on how to help others overcome chatter by being a “chatter advisor” – a friend or mentor that can help process problems. He emphasizes that an important aspect of being a “chatter advisor” is not only listening, but helping others reframe the experience, so they can zoom out and see the bigger picture. We can also help others overcome chatter “invisibly” in ways that do not threaten their sense of autonomy. For example, leaders of teams should avoid singling employees out and providing ways to give feedback/improvement collectively (e.g., team workshops). Kross also recommends helping personal relationships by proactively doing things (e.g., tasks around the house) when we know our loved ones are stressed.
As the world returns to work, understanding Chatter and how to harness it will be helpful in experiencing continued uncertainty. Kross notes that: “Despite [chatters’] critical importance, we’re not talking about this at the dinner table with our kids. We’re not talking about this at our team meetings with our employees. Given the amazing things that it can do for us, I think we should be talking about it. Because there’s a whole lot of science to bear that documents not only its importance but also how it can be harnessed and usually relatively easy ways to make it work for us rather than against us.”
About Kross Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory.
This story is a collaboration between the University of Michigan’s Center for Positive Organizations (CPO) and Riverbank Consulting Group, whose purpose is to energize and engineer organizations to unleash potential. It is based on an event presented by CPO, which you can watch here.
Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Ethan Kross
Professor of Psychology and Management & Organizations
University of Michigan
July 16, 2021
About the talk
We all struggle to avoid overthinking in our work and our personal lives from time to time—but after a year of crisis and uncertainty, negative self-talk is on the rise like never before. Award-winning psychologist and author of the instant national bestseller Chatter, Ethan Kross studies how the conversations we have with ourselves shape our lives in surprising ways, from our health and our job performance to our relationships and decision-making.
Join us for this fireside chat hosted by Dave Mayer, where Kross will share his cutting-edge research and real-world case studies to help you harness the power of your inner voice. He’ll reveal how you can improve productivity and wellbeing in your own life, as well as help you become a wiser leader to others.
If you ever find yourself obsessing over a particular problem or situation so much that it becomes unproductive, Ethan Kross, professor of management and organizations at the Ross School of Business, has some advice.
In the CNN interview, Kross explains that the chatter in our heads can be useful in problem solving — until it goes too far.
“The voice in our head is a superpower,” Kross tells Cooper. “But it can also become a vulnerability when we get stuck, so rather than going inside to analyze and come up with solutions, we just end up spinning.”
Kross explains that chatter can affect us in three ways:
Our ability to think and perform well
Our relationships with other people
Our physical health
Kross and Cooper also discuss a number of tools, which are covered in greater depth in the book, to cope with chatter. For example, one tool, called “distanced self-talk,” involves coaching yourself through a problem as though you were talking to someone else.
“Different tools work for different people and different situations,” Kross notes.
Ethan Kross is a Center for Positive Organizations Faculty Associate and a Professor of Psychology and Management & Organizations at the University of Michigan.
This article was originally published by Michigan Ross.
Ethan Kross
Professor of Psychology and Management & Organizations
University of Michigan
About the talk
We all struggle to avoid overthinking in our work and our personal lives from time to time—but after a year of crisis and uncertainty, negative self-talk is on the rise like never before. Award-winning psychologist and author of the instant national bestseller Chatter, Ethan Kross studies how the conversations we have with ourselves shape our lives in surprising ways, from our health and our job performance to our relationships and decision-making.
Join us for this fireside chat hosted by Dave Mayer, where Kross will share his cutting-edge research and real-world case studies to help you harness the power of your inner voice. He’ll reveal how you can improve productivity and wellbeing in your own life, as well as help you become a wiser leader to others.
About Kross
Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory.
He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed about his work on CBS Evening News, Good Morning America, Anderson Cooper Full Circle, and NPR’s Morning Edition. His research has been featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and New England Journal of Medicine and Science. His recently released first book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, is a National Bestseller.
Host
David Mayer, John H. Mitchell Professor of Business Ethics, Michigan Ross
Summer Series Promotional Partners
The Department of Psychology is consistently ranked as a top department in the nation because of the excellence of our faculty, students, and programs. Our faculty are recognized nationally and internationally for their contributions to the creation of new scientific knowledge in psychology. Our undergraduate and graduate programs are recognized for pioneering contributions in classroom and research education, as well as innovative experiential learning. The department has been recognized for decades as one of the most distinguished and productive departments of psychology in the world.
